|
Chapter 146 — Life Lessons (Part 3)
Sophia stares at her husband. Incredulously. But with hope.
"Let's go to the living room," she finally suggested. "Charlie is a very curious boy."
CC winced but followed his wife into the living room and sat on the sofa nearby the lighted fireplace.
Sophia sat down on the other end of the sofa and looked at the fire. She was so lost in her thoughts that even flinched when CC started: "I loved Pamela--"
Sophia felt like a block of ice collapsed on her.
"What?"
"Yes. I loved her. Adored. Was crazy about her. Was ready to strangle Grant for one glance to her direction."
Sophia dares to look up him.
"And what happened then?" she managed. If he was going to say that she is guilty for--
"Mason's birth," followed by the brief staccato answer.
"I do not understand. Would not you want to have children?" Her astonishment supplanted her torment for some time.
"Of course I wanted. It's not that. Mason is not guilty, but his appearance broken the spell. Ruined all. Damaged."
"What are you talking about?" Sophia looked into his eyes, not knowing what he was getting at.
CC sighed abruptly.
"Pamela went off head after his birth."
"You mean... figuratively? You began to quarrel?"
"No." CC looked into Sophia's eyes. "She has developed a mental disorder."
"My God--
"It was... not immediately. Some specific moments... changes in her mood... I thought she just was bored so we started to attend many parties and receptions, but she only got worse. She forgot all, she could break all bounds of decency, and she deliberately publicly said things that perfectly well knew that we are not talking about. If she do not know these — she invented ones. Inflicted her on my business partners. We had fights, I thought I could reason with her, but nothing helped. Eventually her bearing became to badly reflect on the company's business reputation and my father did step in. I and he quarreled. He demanded that I must to lock my wife inside of the house so nobody see her, or send her away in Timbuktu. Anywhere for our names finally disappear from the scandalous columns of newspapers."
"And you obeyed him?"
"Of course I did not. I was blinded by love, and in any case I was not going to turn my wife in a captive wife. So my father kicked me out of the family."
"Kicked out???" Sophia even lifting herself up on the sofa.
"He called it differently but in fact he did. I was displaced from my position as the vice-president and ordered to move out to one of our family homes in some back country. I'd faced the fact that I'd not allowed to live in this house anymore," CC gestured around the living room.
"And you did move out?"
"I'm not going to but Pamela insisted. She worried about my damaged relations with the father and she convinced me not burn all my bridges behind me. At least she said this--"
"Are you meaning that she lied? For what?"
CC gave no answers to these questions. He paused and then continued: "We moved in the new house but our problems remain the same. The only difference was that there're suffered from Pamela's antics our neighbors only. However they are quickly found out what was happened and we stopped to receive invitations."
Sophia tried to imagine how it was. The gloomy house which's avoided by everybody and neighbors cute hello but never applied visits. Whispers behind back and unkind looks.
"What was happened then?" she asked because CC fell silent again. "How did you realize?"
"She embittered," CC blankly replied. "She could scratch my face in a fit of rage or break all dishes. Especially she got angry because our neighbors do not take us into the society. I tried to explain their reasons but she's not interested. She had seen her behavior as a complete normal. And I was so blind and did not wish to reckon with. I did not want to understand that she goes far beyond."
"You're trying to take her to a doctor?"
"Of course not. And I do not occur. I thought that all of comes from our bad relations. So why at some point I allowed myself to go away for a week. The father needed my help in the business affairs--"
"She... Pamela did something in your absence?" Sophia braced herself together as she's waiting for some terrible confessions.
"No. When I returned I found her in really good spirits. I rejoiced thinking that the separation does well us and all problems is over. But I quickly realized that she got even worse. Pamela's lost in the world of her fantasy so deep that she assured me that she have called on receptions of all the neighbors for this week, telling me about them so many details that at some point I even thought it was true. But when she came over to parties and receptions hosted by her in our house I began to doubt. The talking with the crew was enough to expose all her attempts to lie. And there was even more. Mrs. Casters informed me that Pamela never came into Mason's room and even did not remember about him. And Mason was four, he can see a lot. And he's crying that his mom did not want to say him goodnight. I was a complete idiot," CC shook his head as if he's wondering now about. "And my idiocy almost led to a tragedy," his voice suddenly dropped to a whisper.
"What is she made?" Sophia feels as if she's not having enough air to breath. And then she heard words made her ??heart nearly stop.
"She almost killed Mason."
"Almost? You mean, accidentally?"
"No," he gritted his teeth but then forced himself to continue. He must get to the end otherwise there's no way out for them. "The first night after the return I woke up in the night. I do not know what's woke me up. But it does not matter. The bright moon shone so bright that I could not sleep again and started to walk around the house. Then I saw that the door Mason's room was ajar. Mason's bed was empty. I rushed into Pamela's bedroom, but she was not here too. I got so angry that I could not think right. I decided that she left me and took my son along. But all of our cars still were stayed in the garage. I roused all household, servants were sent to the search for them. I went to look for my wife and my son too."
"Where did you find them?" Sophia endlessly repeating to herself that it's ended well. Pamela and Mason are both alive. But her imagination's showing her what thoughts of terrified Channing were then. Two lifeless bodies on the grass--
"In the lake."
"What?"
"I thought I heard some like a splash of water. I did run up ashore and saw Pamela. She stood waist-deep in the lake's water and called for Mason. He was also stayed in the water — they were separated by a couple dozen inches. She saw me and yelled only louder. She promised Mason that they never would apart if he goes closer to her," CC momentarily closed his eyes with his hand and then shook his head, pushing his memories away. "And he came to her. She picked him up and began to retreat into the depths of lake. And I finally realized what she was going to do. I screamed and ran to them. But I was too far away and I knew I cannot reach them in time--"
"Who's saved yours?" Sophia whispered. The horrifying picture was showing in her mind. The empty surface of the lake, the bright moonlight and the crazy woman holds her little son intending to kill both of them.
"Mason," the unexpected answer followed. "He heard my voice and somehow managed to slip out of her hands. Their struggle gave me those precious seconds. I had taken Mason out of the water and handed him to my servants who just came in time, and then I returned for Pamela."
"You saved her life."
"Almost giving mine up instead," he smiled bitterly. "She almost drowned me. Before I've never seen so much rage and evil from her. She yelled that she wanted to drown herself and take our son with her. What she hates me... hate everyone... Fortunately I'd much stronger then she was and I drag her out the shore. She instantly turned into a weak and defenseless young girl... who begged me forgive her... But I already did not believe her. I forcedly led her to the house and locked in the former nursery — only room which still had bars on the windows. You know... when I went to the mirror first I just did not recognize myself. My face was blooded, scratched all along and bruised. But my own reflection just sobered me. I realized that if a weak woman might to make some like this it's mean she is really crazy." He looked into Sophia's eyes and moves his sight to the fire. "I had to re-think a lot and admit my mistakes at that night."
"And you divorced her," Sophia said softly never taking her eyes away from CC.
"After some time," Channing nodded. "First I forced Pamela to visit the psychiatrist and then I heard many interesting things. And from the doctor and my own wife. Including the information about Anthony Tonnell."
"Who?" Sophia did not understand.
"The villain who using my wife's illness, who got her mixed up and made her march to his tune. He was her lover."
"So you let Pamela to go with him?" Sophia clarified.
Capwell's face set.
"No. As soon as my wife has been receiving treatment he immediately disappeared realizing he could no longer use her. And I and Pamela were finally able to talk and come to the agreement after some time. She realized that she's ill though it was not easy for her and she agreed that she could not take care of Mason. We officially divorced and signed the agreement on custody. Instead I gave her enough money to make sure that she's getting all she's needs and continues her treatment."
"Wait," Sophia suddenly frown. "And what's about Charlie? So you're actually aware of his existence?"
"I did not," CC clenched his teeth. "After that event... I did want to know nothing about her and took all my surveillance out. By the time it was just a formally watch. My ex-wife quietly lived in London and responsible fulfilling her treatment. I thought that there would be no any surprises."
Sophia nodded, thinking about new information. It shed enough much light. But what's she suppose to do with?
CC guessed her thoughts and slightly smiled.
"My feelings for Pamela died in that night on the lake," he said. "Although, of course, I took care of her, yet she was my wife."
"Really?" escapes from Sophia.
"What are you mean?" CC frowns.
"You're changed even after her short visit. Maybe your feelings for her actually still not died? Just like when you and she conceived Charlie?"
CC suddenly saw red.
"Do not be stupid!"
"So why Pamela's visit such affected on you?"
"Damn, I do not want to talk about it!"
The silence fell in the room for a moment."
"You just told me terrible things you kept to yourself so many years. And why do you not want to tell this? What's happened when Charlie was conceived?"
"I did not rape my ex-wife if you mean it," CC hissed involuntarily clenching his fists.
"God, no! It never occurred to me."
"So leave it alone."
"CC, what are you hiding from me? You're..." She closed her eyes. "Do you still love Pamela?"
"I've already said that I do not! For God's sake she almost killed our son!"
They both fell silent.
"Mason is aware about this?" Sophia asked softly.
"Of course not. I think he does not remember what's happened. His mother's departure shocked him much stronger."
"I hope he never finds out," Sophia said and looks up the husband. "CC--"
"What do you want from me? I've told you as much as I could. Charlie's conception was result of my mistake."
And CC Capwell grimacing briefly told Sophia about the events of that week.
Sophia finally felt much better. Though that's just not something able untangle the Gordian knot today. She searchingly looked up CC. Her intuition suggesting that the solution is somewhere nearby.
"Did you want to send Charlie away to the boarding-school because he is Pamela's son? You don't like see him so badly?"
CC shook his head.
"Not so."
"Then I cannot understand," Sophia admitted and at that moment it's dawned. "Oh, you do feel guilty towards Pamela, do you?"
One glance at her husband's face was enough to see that she hit the right spot.
CC stood up and walked to the window putting his hands behind his back.
"I'm really guilty towards her," he said, looking into the gloom of the night. "And the fact that I allowed myself to be with her while my time in London... was inexcusable. Then I'd just cowardly run away and tried to forget. Charlie... my son's lived with her in great danger and I knew nothing."
"I could not understand why Pamela so hard tried to hide his existence from you," Sophia said slowly. "And why she's so sure that you'll take her son away."
"She had good reasons," CC sadly smiled. "But I'm glad that she was smart enough to send him to me. Otherwise the consequences could be very bad."
"I think you're exaggerating."
"You never saw Pamela before her treatment. If she'll stop taking her drugs--"
"In my opinion you're taken upon yourself too much. Look, she quietly brought Charlie up to until he had five and then she safely put him to the boarding-school. And everything was just fine. Charlie is a wonderful, smart boy. And it's not your fault that you did not realized yours wife's illness earlier. How you can even suspected that? You're not a doctor."
"I had to see it. My God, I saw that she was not like she was before! But I arrogantly believed that she's able handle it."
"She's able and she does since she receives the treatment. Just look at Charlie!"
"I think about her every time when I see him! About her, about my shame and cowardice! About my negligence!"
"Stop! Stop it!" Sophia immediately comes up with him, embracing his shoulders. "You did the best of you could do. Yeah, it's not so quickly and correctly as we would like. But nothing irreparable had happened."
"How I've missed you..." CC embraces her too, pressing to his chest. He fells a lump in his throat.
"I love you. Do you hear me? I love you."
"I do! For God's sake, just do not leave me."
"I never leave you!"
|
|