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Chapter 75 — The Healing By The Truth
There have passed some more days, but the situation varied too a little. Mary had her nightmares as well as Mason tried to avoid fighting with her, but keep insist that it is necessary to do something with her troubled sleep. The tension is escalating between them, which scared both. The last drop was the morning when Mason woken up in the empty bed and found out Mary sleeping in the next bedroom.
"Why you did it?" He asked in a low tone and cautiously touched her hand.
"And good morning for you too," Mary sat down. "I am sorry; I need to go in the bathroom."
Mason silently waited while she comes back and again started talking: "Mary, why did you leave me in the past night?"
"Unless you will need to hurry for your work?"
Mary sat down before the dressing table and began to comb her hair.
"I will go for second half of day. Mary, look at me. Mary..."
In Mason's last word Mary heard his genuine fear and turned with all her body to him. "Mason, I am just--"
"You avoid me," Mason's words were not a question, but the statement.
"Probably, yes... You are right," Mary forced smiling. "I did not want it. Really, I did not want."
"However, I am pressing on you--"
"You are pressing me. I cannot change the dreams as though I would like. To me enough my own sufferings from nightmares, I do not want that you suffered also."
"And I do not want that anyone from us suffered. We're needed to find a way out."
"Mason, your pressure do not making better. We only quarrel because of it. Give me time, OK?"
"I do not think that your nightmares are connect with our recent problems--"
"Do you train for a new profession from the lawyer to psychiatrists?"
"No. Just I had nightmares too long time ago."
"Did you?" Mary's eyes showing sympathy. "Tell me."
"It is nothing special. It appeared when I was still the child. Right after divorce of my father and departure of my mother. It was about how mum leaves from me, strongly closes the door behind herself, and I banging on it and begging my mum to return. Then it is gone. And when I become teen, it appeared again. When I came back home for school vacations. In the school, I did sleep well."
"And what is happened then?"
"Then... Sophia was lost and dead. Well, everybody thought that she did. Children sobbed for days and nights without having a break. It was look alike a hell, just continuous cemetery at our place."
"Awfully."
"Yes. Awfully. And here once in the evening... I found Channing in my room. I strictly forbade coming there him and other children."
"Do you beat him?" Mary smiled, wiping tears. Mason's story touched for her soul, and simultaneously makes to remember her own childhood with crafty girl Christie.
"No. However, I wanted. But then I saw the photo in his hand. It was Pamela's photo, my own mother."
"What?"
"Yes, I was surprised too. And he told that since his mother is died, he wishes to take my mother."
"My God--"
"I kicked out him from my room, I did my best to do not show how badly I feeling. All the evening I cried, hating myself for weakness and Channing for he caused me to cry. And at night... At night mum dreamt to me. It has looked alike with my long-term nightmare."
Mary nestled on his shoulder, trying to divide with him the weight of his memoirs. She already regretted that she asked him to tell.
"But at the time, I saw more then usually I did. Mom came in my room and told me that she need to leave and she does not know how much time she'll out. And then she told that she loves me very much..."
Mason forced himself to shake memoirs on the past, and embraced Mary, having pressed her to him. He is having felt how her heart strongly beating and then feel how the weight of an old grief gradually leaves him.
"And next day I realized that it was not just my dream. Mom really came to say goodbye to me. I even asked Rose about it, and she confirmed. You understand," he look directly in Mary's face. "I did not remember it. I considered long years that she did not come to me before disappearing from my life. For any reason, my memory blocked these memoirs... But when I can remember all parts — my nightmares was stopped. Forever."
"What do you try to tell my?"
"Mary, may be your memory about yourself is not completed? May be your nightmare actually is your memoirs instead of just your imagination?"
"Well and nobody mentioned what I was on the tramp on streets at ten years' age?" Mary indignantly sniffed. "I lived with younger sister and mother. Do you think that they would not tell to me about?"
"Rose was very much surprised by my question then," after having kept silent finally said Mason. "She was surprised and frightened. She cannot even imaging that I do not remember the night after I actually heartbreaking cried and called mother. Do you do not think that Christie and Theda just do not know what you did not remember some events in the life? Especially if it's were too terrible for you."
"Well, I can see your point. Yes, theoretically, it can have a place. But then there is one good way to check up it."
"Talk to your mother?" Mason knowingly asked.
"Yes. You know, probably, I understand you better now, why you so hard insist on finding out the truth. Only I do not understand, why for in that case your reference to the psychiatrist?"
"Well... I just thought that you might be making easier it with a specialist."
"Easier than with you? With unknown person to whom you will pay?"
"It is silly, I am recognizing it. However, you did not want tell with me, truly?"
"No," Mary smiled. "I just did not consider that we have a subject to discussing. But I can count all dirty cans and rotten stubs which I met in the dream for you if you so hard want to know that."
"What muck!"
"Aha, already changed the mind!"
"No," feeling relief Mason buried his face in her hair. "Surely I do not change the mind. I am sorry. It seemed to me, I'll lose you."
"You will not lose me," Mary confidently told. "You will not so lucky!"
"I am already lucky," Mason's mouth was stretched in a silly smile to ears. "And my luck is you. You are mine."
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